The relationships we have with our down under changes about every ten years (did you know 97% of statistics are made up on the spot?) As tots, its just a pee-pee machine: an exhaust pipe (eh), a friend (“hi tushy!”), a toy (“I touch tushy!”), even a weapon (regretting that white shag rug yet?).
As teenagers, it morphs into a mystery, slowly being covered by wirey coils and emitting weird, funky things we can’t identify.
(I do not endorse the above product, but the commercial is amazing)
As newlyweds (for us orthodox JAPS at least), it becomes minefield that we have to carefully tread, as we become amateur yogis in discovering what causes sweet discomfort or just plain old pain.
As first time moms, it becomes the single coolest organ, having pushed forth human life in a miraculous feat of fit-this-basketball-sized-head-through-a-ten-inch-tube.
And yet- many of us just don’t know how to take care of it.
SO HERE’S A TIP YOU IGNORANT MILLENIALS!
YOUR VAGINA IS MORE ABSORBENT THAN YOUR EPIDERMIS!
The average woman uses 10,000 tampons or pads in her lifetime (NOT MADE UP). Thats…a lot. DO YOU KNOW WHAT THEY’RE MADE OF??
I bet you’re going to say COTTON.
And if you did, you’d be… hella wrong. Maybe that’s what they should be made of. Instead, you’ve been shoving synthetic rayon, chlorine, plasticized chemicals, dyes, petrochemical additives, and other unknowns into your most miraculous and delicate vessel. Its time to smell the Folgers and go GREEN with your VAJEEN.
[Read more here about the dangers of conventional period goods]
So, what are your options? You can…
1) …purchase 100% organic cotton pads and tampons on Amazon by a personal favorite brand called Natracare:
These are my personal favorites. They’re thick, long and cushy and don’t have wings, which I enjoy. I wear them the entire period until I’m no longer bleeding. (I used to find the thinner ones scratchy, so thicker is more comfortable for me.) For wing-wearers, click below.
3) … look into reusable pads. They’re exactly what they sound like. Find out more here.
4) …be braver than I am and try a menstrual cup, a silicone, re-usable U-shaped receptacle that catches your shed uterus lining, leaving you stain- and smell-free while also saving the Earth, protecting your vaginal walls, and forging World Peace. There are plenty of options now, one of which is thoroughly reviewed by lifestyle blogger Lee from America here. I linked the one she uses below.
SO FELLOW BLEEDERS—
if you want to clog your lymph nodes with aluminum, thats fine (not really please don’t). If you want to stain your lips with coal tar, okay, what can I do (also, don’t.) . But for FALLOPIAN TUBES’ SAKES— PROTECT YOUR KITTIES!
Till next time,